What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is when an individual uses a pattern of manipulation that feeds the victim’s self-doubt so much that they become unable to trust their own memories, perceptions, or instincts. It originates from the 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife to madness by dimming the gas lights in their home — and then denying that he had changed them at all. The term has evolved and is now a popular concept in mental health, relationships, and social contexts.
Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting
The long-term psychological effects of gaslighting can be severe. One could feel anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt. Such continual doubting can be very difficult for someone to rely on their own perception. Eventually, these experiences can contribute to Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), which involves symptoms like flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, and damaged self-worth. People who are suffering from C-PTSD may also have difficulty regulating their emotions and experiencing relationships that contribute to their health, fitness, and wellness.
Daily Examples of Gaslighting
In day-to-day life, it’s important to recognize the signs of gaslighting so you can protect yourself. Subtle signs may include:
- Denial of Reality: The gaslighter may deny things they have said or done; they could say your memory is incorrect. For instance, they might tell you, “That never happened,” even though you have evidence.
- Invalidating Feelings: They invalidated your feelings, ignoring them or telling you that they don’t matter or that you’re being too sensitive. For instance, they might say: “You’re too sensitive” or “It was just a joke. “
- Constant Questioning: They may question your memory or perception constantly, leaving you second-guessing yourself. They might say, for instance, “That’s really what you think happened?” or ”You never do anything right. “Such questioning can result in a deep self-doubt and indecisiveness.
How Gaslighting Affects You
Gaslighting has a deep impact on self-trust and self-worth. Victims of the abuse feel powerless to make choices and use their judgment. This erosion of self-trust may spread to all areas of your life, not just the relationship where gaslighting took place. Even the victims might feel ashamed and hide from others, expecting criticism or a lack of understanding. They may also have difficulty expressing emotions or making their needs known in social settings, leading to more isolation.
The Emotional and Physical Toll
We also know that gaslighting has physical consequences. The effects of long-term gaslighting don’t just end in emotional or even psychological places. When an unsuspecting victim is manipulated for a long enough period, their neurology can become quite taxed. This leaves the body in a chronic stressed state, leading to symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and digestive problems. Sustained stress can also contribute to more serious health issues, such as heart disease and a weakened immune system.
Recovering from Gaslighting
Working on healing is almost impossible when you are struggling with gaslighting. Institutions like the Arbor Wellness provide several services for traumatic responses of this kind. They offer guidance, support groups, and educational materials for anyone who wants to learn more and overcome the effects of gaslighting. The mental health professionals in Arbor Wellness are equipped to work with victims, helping them regain their confidence and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Psychotherapy is a vital aspect of the recovery. A therapist can be a safe place for victims to open up about their emotions without being judged. In therapy, an individual can begin to identify gaslighting prompts and work on reclaiming their reality, as well as building resources to restore their self-belief. With the help of therapy, especially CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) techniques, victims can rework these negative thoughts and internalized beliefs they’ve come to possess after experiencing gaslighting.
The past few years have also added up the benefits of telehealth for gaslighting. With telehealth, treatment becomes more flexible, enabling individuals to receive therapy from the comfort of their own homes. This ease of access is especially beneficial to people who may be too ashamed or scared to ask for help in person. It can also offer frontline help in a crisis, making people feel less alone. CBT and telehealth are both available in Arbor Wellness to support individuals seeking help from the perils of stress and anxiety from gaslighting.
Rebuilding Self-Trust and Moving Forward
Reestablishing self-trust is critical in the healing process after gaslighting. Here are some things you can try:
- Trust Your Feelings: The gaslighter was counting on the fact that you were lost and would question yourself. The first step is recognizing, without a doubt in your mind, that “My feelings are valid; no matter what the gaslighter tried to tell me.”
- Follow Your Gut: Listen to your intuition and follow your instincts. Intuition is often experienced in the body as a feeling or physical sensation; a gut feeling, for example, might be experienced by you as tension in your stomach. When you start to see these little hints of communication, pause and ask yourself, “What is my body telling me right now?”
- Boundaries: Say no and take care of yourself. No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anybody a detailed explanation for taking care of your time, energy, or feelings.
- Get Some Support: Find friends, family, or support groups with whom to share experiences and receive encouragement. Tell others to obtain a fair confirmation from the outside world that you were abused.
- Developing self-esteem through activities, such as hobbies or volunteering, can also help people find that lost identity and purpose. And be sure to have fun celebrating when you do win small. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. Have you ever stood up for yourself? Did you recall a crucial piece of information the gaslighter tried to complicate? Celebrate it!
- Be more mindful and record your thoughts. Focus on the present moment. By grounding yourself in the present — whether through breathing exercises, meditation, or paying attention to your surroundings with all five senses — you can decrease the hold of past manipulations. Open a journal that’s dedicated to maintaining the truth about what actually happened and how you interpreted it. This “truth document” acts as absolute proof against the gaslighter’s lies and solidifies your recollection.
For now, awareness about gaslighting is spreading. Social media and mental health advocates have been instrumental in helping to tackle and break down the stigma surrounding mental illness. Education on the warning signs of gaslighting, as well as educating themselves about it and its risks, can help them identify this behavior in their personal lives and take steps to get out.
The daily trauma of gaslighting is deeply damaging, both mentally and physically, to victims. Knowing its definition, signs, and impact is crucial for identifying and responding to this type of manipulation. Practitioners at the Arbor Wellness may be able to help, as can certain forms of psychotherapy. As a culture, we are becoming increasingly aware of mental health issues, and that brings hope to anyone surviving gaslighting: You can heal, learn how to trust yourself again, and move forward whole and strong.
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